6:45 AM. Dan arrives early. For the first time in recorded history.
DAN6:45! First one here. Look at me. Mr. Discipline.
COACH[text message] Running 10 minutes late, sorry! Warm up and don't do anything silly.
7:12. Coach is late. Dan is cold. And getting ideas.
DANI've been warming up for 25 minutes. My warm-up needs a warm-up.
DANIt's just a door. I deadlift more than a door. Probably.
Inside Dan. The emergency meeting.
FLEXWe deadlift 100 kilos! A door weighs like 30! Let's open it ourselves!
BLOBCounter-proposal: we sit on the bench and eat the banana from the bag. Nobody goes to prison.
7:14. Dan opens the door. Technically.
DANI'M IIIIN!
DAN…and so is the door. Oh no. Oh no no no.
7:15. Coach Ana arrives.
COACHDan. Why are you hugging my door?
DANIt… fell. On its own. Gravity is really strong today.
7:16. Coach Ana fixes the door. With one hand. Without putting down her coffee.
COACHDoor fixed. Coffee still hot. Now you: 30 burpees. One for every minute you were early.
FLEXOne hand. ONE. Hand. Respect. That's what years of training look like.
BLOBBanana. Bench. Nobody gets hurt. But nobody listens to the fat.